It's OK not to share

It’s OK not to share: This seems like a bit of an odd subject for a social media post, but bear with me.

At the start of the year I set up a private Instagram account, just for me. The intention was to deliberately take a photo every day, to document what I’m calling a ‘tiny delight’ - nothing momentous, nothing earth shattering, it might just be a bowl of granola. But it’s a daily record of something I’ve done or seen that day, that made me happy and that I appreciated.

This was inspired, at least in part by the writings of two women:

Laura Pasha - author of Little Stories of Your Life - all about noticing the beauty in the mundane, everyday things.

Jo Dimmock - of @ochreandflax - and her gratitude and journaling practice.

So, if it’s private why am I telling you about it?

Ah - good question - I’m so pleased you asked.

It occurred to me while I was out walking this morning that, in an age where we are encouraged to share so much of ourselves and our thoughts online, that the deliberate choice to keep something back, to hold it just for ourselves is a really bold, assertive thing to do. It feels like a tiny act of rebellion in a world where oversharing is not just accepted but is actively encouraged. 

I wanted a place to share my ‘tiny delights’ in a way that was visual but that wasn’t just on my phone or in my journal. I wanted it to be somewhere separate from all of my other online activities but also somewhere just for me. A place where I can scroll through and see a permanent record of all of my daily ‘tiny delights’ that will hopefully help to perk me up, during those low moments which we all experience.

I’m keeping in mind the image of a determined toddler, with a very set expression on her face, arms crossed, saying calmly but fiercely “no, that’s mine”.

And I’m carrying that energy forwards into a few aspects of my online life this year, most notably with my Twitter usage. Twitter has been for the most part, my favourite online social media platform, the place where I am most free to be myself. Sadly though, for me at least, it’s become an increasingly noisy and hostile place where it’s all too easy to lose yourself amid the outpourings of so many other angry and frightened people.

As an empath, it’s something I have been increasingly aware of and the negative impact of Twitter on my mental health is no longer something that I can ignore.

This isn’t a grand ‘I’m leaving’ statement or anything like that. But simply a gradual realisation that I need to move towards something that serves me better - and 2hrs of daily twitter scrolling does not serve me well - at all.

Instead I’ve replaced the twitter app on my phone with the Kindle reader app (to supplement my Kindle and the physical books I have) and if I feel a scrolling urge I read a book instead.

I have set myself the target of reading 52 books this year (having read 25 in 2021) and I’ve surprised myself by reading 4 already. It turns out that 2hrs a day can really add up - who knew?

I’ll still be around on Twitter, and indeed I’ve curated a (private) list of knitty friends so that I don’t miss any updates, but I will be much more intentional about the debates and accounts I engage with. Reserving my energy and my attention for that which I can control, not that which I can’t.

I haven’t set any knitting-related goals this year - I’m not quite sure what that says about me - but there’s still time. For now I’m just happy that I have had a bit of a reset and I’m hoping that being more mindful in where I direct my energies will help me to be more present in other areas of my life - including my crafting.

How about you? Do you have any big (or small) goals this year?

If you’d like to find out what I’m reading I’ll be sharing this on my Instagram stories (and saved to my highlights) or I’ll be chatting about it in my bi-weekly newsletter too).

Weekends don't count

Much of this year seems to have disappeared into a haze of anxiety and stress, but something about the change in seasons and the change in routine, as kids head back to school has kick started my long-dormant creativity and got me thinking positive thoughts again.

I’m fully aware that this might be a temporary reprieve in the whole Covid situation and that things may well get worse before they get better, but at the minute I am carrying on as best I can fully masked up, limiting social interaction and trying to keep a ‘this too shall pass’ mindset first and foremost.

Spending a lot less time on social media has helped enormously, as has cutting the ties with Facebook for personal use and the toxic soup that is Facebook groups. Spending an intentional half an hour on the Mighty Networks group leaves me feeling recharged and energised and has proved to be the perfect way to both start and end my working day.

Another thing that has helped is getting back into writing again - always something that I love but that I seem to be only able to commit to patchily. I have dabbled with writing Morning Pages before - a three page ‘free writing’ session but have always struggled to stick to it, especially at weekends where my routine is wildly different to my working week and loss of momentum always seems to completely derail my fledgling habit.

This time though I was reminded of something that Sara Tasker taught when I did her 15 minute magic programme a while ago - basically that ‘Weekends Don’t Count’. Weekends are for many things but they are a chance to do things differently from the rest of the week. A chance to rest, regroup and allow your mind to mull over the challenges and happenings of the week. In short, they are a break to allow your creative, subconscious mind a bit of free rein.

So, with that in mind I went through and marked off all the weekend days on my 30 day habit tracker in advance. And oh, my goodness. The difference it made this weekend was incredible. Normally I would approach a weekend with a vague ‘oh, I must do my morning pages’ thought. I would prevaricate and procrastinate, feeling guilt that I hadn’t done it. Then by the time Monday morning rolled around I would have talked myself out of doing it altogether and chalked it up to just another example of how I can’t commit to anything.

This time though? Totally different mindset. Giving myself permission to take the weekend off - albeit from this small and totally self-imposed challenge was incredibly freeing.

And now I can’t wait to see what other areas of my business and creative life I can apply this to.

My Morning Pages habit tracker

Knitting as therapy

Do you feel as though sometimes your brain is completely full? Like a cup of coffee filled to the absolute brim and the slightest movement or the tiniest sliver of additional information will cause it to spill over? I am prone to over thinking at the best of times but recently I have been feeling this more and more.

I am a huge fan of Writing Things Down and my belief in the power of a good long list is unshakeable, but recently I stopped journalling. Everything seemed to overwhelming and and certainly during March and April all the days seemed the same - writing about them seemed rather pointless and if I’m honest, pretty depressing. Journalling seemed to encourage me to dwell on the negatives and I felt rather like a hamster on a wheel.

Recently though I’ve discovered two things - the fabulous team at the Positive Planner who have produced a bullet journal in addition to their daily gratitude journal, and also Ruth Poundwhite’s Journalling for Business course. Both have which have inspired me to get my pen back out and write things down again.

Sitting, knitting something simple (in this case a garter stitch washcloth) and writing down ideas and thoughts as they come to me, with no pressure and no feeling that I’m doing things wrong. It’s been remarkably therapeutic and I really can’t recommend it highly enough. Even if you never look at the pages again after you’ve written them - the thoughts are out of your head - and that’s the main thing. The impact on my mental health has been really striking in recent weeks - although I’m sure that’s also partly due to spending less time on social media (Facebook in particular).

In case you need a simple pattern for a washcloth to try this for yourself I have jotted mine down here. Please feel free to bookmark it for future reference if you too, have a ‘Brain Too Full’ moment.

“WASHCLOTH PATTERN: CO 2 sts,
K1, kfb, k to end. Repeat this row until you have 50sts.
k1, ssk, k to end. repeat this row until you have 2 sts.
Cast off.”

— Louise Tilbrook Designs

Permission Slip

For the first time in over a week I've felt like picking up my pen and writing. Most days I knit, but if I'm struggling either mentally or physically then my writing is the first thing to go - which is ironic as writing is the thing I know that helps me the most.

Getting thoughts out of my head and into paper is the best kind of therapy there is - a notebook never judges after all.

And the first thing I'm writing today is a big fat Permission Slip.

Feeling unwell and spending more time in the house I've been online a lot more. Yesterday I realized that I had spent most of the day circling around Twitter reading a mish mash of facts, opinions and rants from people as scared as I was. Put simply it was the worst way to spend my day.

So inspired by JessicaRoseWilliams on Instagram today I've come up with a few simple strategies on my permission slip to myself

1. Turn off Twitter (in fact delete it from my phone this weekend)

2. Check out the WHO and Public Health England website once per day

3. Watch the main news headlines and then turn it off

4. Journal a page a day. No censorship just write how I feel without having to adjust it to consider how what I say affects others (my youngest son is very upset by this too)

5. Go for a daily walk

6. Cook something nice from scratch, even if it's just carrot soup

7. Read a book - fiction - and as far from the 21st century as possible

8. Hug my family

We often joke about retreating into our ""family bubble" at difficult times - at least we have plenty of experience of that

Just writing this helped me, I hope it helps you too 💕

Lists of lists

So, today I'm all about the lists and a bit of organisation. I have decided to get all my ducks in a row before the start of Stash Dash 2017 in an effort to beat my total from last year when I completed 14 projects with a total of 7826m.

Poor planning on my part meant that a few larger projects were finished up in April and May when in actual fact I could have saved them up and counted them against my finished Stash Dash tally.

This year I would like to pass the 10K mark - I know - why do we do it to ourselves. But, show me a challenge and I can never resist.

Phase 1 of my cunning plan involves assessing all my sock WIPs and seeing how much work is needed on them. Short answer - a lot. I'm aiming to get each one to around the 75% complete mark and then in the first week of stash dash I can have a burst of finishing and give myself a bit of a motivational boost into the bargain.

I does mean of course though that I'll need to cast on a few more things - so that I have something to work on as May 26th (the official start date) appraoches.

If you'd like to find out all the rules and requirements for Stash Dash please follow the thread on the Knit Girlls Ravelry group. Their next podcast episode is promised to be all about the event - so you are far better off getting all the information direct from them.

Right, now I think I might just go and set up a spreadsheet or two.