A Letter from Home

“To send a letter is a good way to go somewhere without moving anything but your heart” Phyllis Theroux

This quote was posted on Instagram by the very talented @giuliawrites recently as part of a project she is running at the moment. As so many of us find ourselves inside with our thoughts and feelings, letter writing is one way that we can express ourselves - in a deeper way than with tweets or phone calls. Giulia is collating a series of letters and inviting others to participate in her project too. So here’s mine.

A Letter from Home

The calendar tells me that today is the 1st April, and the blossom buds outside my window seem to be in full agreement. My brain is struggling to process this though, having effectively lost a month to illness, self isolation and now of course a ‘lockdown’

All of these are such negative terms though and now that I’m feeling better I am trying hard to think of things in a more positive light. I haven’t ‘lost’ a month, but I have spent a month getting over a nasty bug (possibly Coronavirus, possibly not - who knows), helping other family members get over their illness in turn and learning more about patience than I ever thought possible.

I have adapted to a new way of living and working - almost overnight. Making it up as we go and finding solutions that work for our 2 kids and 2 adults working at home. 

Like everyone else, we are all just making it up as we go along. No one has experienced anything like this before. We truly are living in exceptional times and we need to remember that and speak kindly to ourselves - using the same tone that I use to my children when they come to me seeking reassurance.

I’m finding great comfort in focusing on the small everyday things around the house just now. Enjoying those little moments of calm, that cup of coffee sat on the doorstep in a patch of sunlight, listening to the birds who seem to be on nest-building overdrive. There are moments of calm, even joy, in every day. The trick is to spot them when they are happening.

Being confined to the house, being limited in what groceries we can buy and when, being uncertain and fearful of the future - this is a reality for so many people now. But it has been a reality for a long time for those members of society with a chronic illness or who find themselves isolated for whatever reason. The fact that now I find myself facing these issues really highlights my own privilege in a way that is starkly unavoidable.

I have no answers and no magic solutions to this. Just a hope that when this passes, and it will eventually, we emerge with a renewed appreciation for what we have, for our freedoms and hopefully a greater understanding of the struggles of others.

Wishing and Hoping

Wishing and Hoping

I hope you are well.

It's such a simple statement isn't it. One which, up until recently we said almost casually, without thinking. Now of course those few words bring up so many feelings and emotions.

Expressing a sincere hope that you and your loved ones are safe and well as we navigate through these difficult, emotional times.

I usually find solace in my knitting but I have to confess that there have been times during this past week where I couldn't bring myself to pick up the needles at all. 

At other times, it has been a wrench to put it away, so desperately have I needed something to focus my mind on. I decided to carry on with my planned projects and at times when I was feeling calm and in control I picked up this baby blanket and knit on it, trying my hardest to put good karma and good thoughts into the stitches.

In a few short months a good friend will be wrapping her much anticipated, precious baby in this blanket (hopefully) and I wanted it to capture all of my good wishes and hope for this beautiful new life. The world it is welcomed into might be a scary place right now, but this will pass (although it might not feel like it right now). Eventually we will be able to celebrate the baby's birth, have a wild party, hug each other and celebrate life.

For now, we can't do those things. But a warm and comforting blanket might just be the next best thing.

If you are on my mailing list please do check your email for a special discount on this pattern which goes on sale this weekend. Or, if not please use code WISHINGEB for a 25% early bird discount (until March 31st)

It's OK to not be productive

It's OK not to not feel like knitting
It's OK to not feel productive
It's OK to just sit and look out of the window

I don't know about you but I'm feeling overwhelmed by the smallest things right now. Not least the plethora of adverts and messages on social media telling me now is the perfect time to learn a language or do that course.

Turns out that no, it really isn’t

I'm having a hard enough time keeping it together in front of the kids, doing all the usual mum stuff and getting our house ready for who knows how many weeks of two adults and two kids working from home in a small 3 bed semi.

Mercifully my temperature blanket has become my knitting of choice right now. Absolutely no need to think, plan or wind yarn. Just sit down and knit in the allotted colour for the day.

Who knew at the start of the year that my blanket would be something I actively enjoy working on. I thought I'd have reached the tedium stage by now but it turns out that’s exactly what my brain needs.

I'll be ignoring all marketing emails and unsubscribing from anything that tells me "now is the perfect time to..."

Unless of course it is "now is the perfect time to prune your social media and eliminate all unnecessary crap" 

Knit The Good Yarn

If there was ever the perfect time to knit up that special skein of yarn from your stash, I think this is it. We all have one of two skeins that we are ridiculously attached to. It might be a souvenir from a fabulous holiday, a gift from a loved friend or in this case an irreplaceable skein of yarn from a talented dyer who passed away much too soon.

Sparkleduck yarn was my first introduction to hand dyed yarn. Stocked at my local yarn shop (sadly also no more) it was like a magnet to my new knitters eyes. I rapidly built up a little collection and over the years I have steadily knitted the skeins - a few of my early sock designs such a Bleaberry Tarn used her yarn and it always drew admirous comments.

This is the skein that I have always held on to - a skein of her sparkle sock yarn in the colourway Here Be Dragons. It is stunningly beautiful - my speedy photo doesn’t do it justice - and so many times I have gone to use it, only to worry that whatever I chose won’t show it off to full effect - and tucked it back into the drawer.

But now seems to the perfect time to go for it. I carefully wound it by hand yesterday. Spent several hours deciding on a pattern - before deciding to go for my usual option of winging it - and cast on this morning over my cup of coffee. Remembering the all to few occasions where I met Heather - both at the Sheep Shop and also at Fibre East.

If you would like to join me in using up something special from your stash while we all cope with the uncertainty and stress of the current situation, please do. I am using the hashtag #KnitTheGoodYarn - please do use it as well and we can all follow each other and offer a little support.

Knit strong!

Permission Slip

For the first time in over a week I've felt like picking up my pen and writing. Most days I knit, but if I'm struggling either mentally or physically then my writing is the first thing to go - which is ironic as writing is the thing I know that helps me the most.

Getting thoughts out of my head and into paper is the best kind of therapy there is - a notebook never judges after all.

And the first thing I'm writing today is a big fat Permission Slip.

Feeling unwell and spending more time in the house I've been online a lot more. Yesterday I realized that I had spent most of the day circling around Twitter reading a mish mash of facts, opinions and rants from people as scared as I was. Put simply it was the worst way to spend my day.

So inspired by JessicaRoseWilliams on Instagram today I've come up with a few simple strategies on my permission slip to myself

1. Turn off Twitter (in fact delete it from my phone this weekend)

2. Check out the WHO and Public Health England website once per day

3. Watch the main news headlines and then turn it off

4. Journal a page a day. No censorship just write how I feel without having to adjust it to consider how what I say affects others (my youngest son is very upset by this too)

5. Go for a daily walk

6. Cook something nice from scratch, even if it's just carrot soup

7. Read a book - fiction - and as far from the 21st century as possible

8. Hug my family

We often joke about retreating into our ""family bubble" at difficult times - at least we have plenty of experience of that

Just writing this helped me, I hope it helps you too 💕

Beginning with the end in mind

Or in my case, I think it should read ‘Beginning with the ends in mind’

Because of course I didn’t. I ploughed headlong into my Temperature Blanket with nothing more than a vague hope/expectation that I would deal with the ends as I went along. Predictably I didn’t - well, I did for a few days but then I got bored.

So now I have 60 days worth of blanket - and very pleased I am with it too. With the endy, tangly mess at one side - not so much.

I had thoughts of maybe just braiding it and having an attractive ‘french plait’ feature down one side but after doing a little reading - and I weirdly dreamt about it last night too - I think I’m going to go for the option of working an i-cord tube and rolling up the ends inside the tube as I go.

I’m planning to have a little practice later on today to see how I go - I’ll report back just as soon as my cold medicine kicks in.